Cry me a river

~ lacasanova

There is so much sadness in the world at any given time, but especially now. I could cry all day just thinking about and mourning so much. Loss, sadness, grief, mistreatment, violence, nostalgia, unfulfilled dreams, setbacks, failure. I think about the woman Andie MacDowell plays in Sex, Lies, and Videotape, and she’s talking to her therapist about how distressed she is about running out of places on the Earth to put garbage. It seems strange to worry so much about something that’s clearly out of her control, but to me it represents that spiral you can find yourself in once you start letting sadness overtake you. One sad thing becomes another sad thing, and then, oh, yeah, that’s sad, too. And what about that other thing? Oh, so sad. And that, too. Oh, God, that’s so awful. And so on, and so on, and pretty soon, you are surrounded by and immersed in nothing but sadness, most of which is related to something you can do nothing about, but it serves as fuel for the sadness you gave way to initially.

One of my fears is that one day, I won’t be able to stop thinking of the sad, bad, tragic things and will keep on crying. So I make an effort to switch to the here and now, centering myself, and then thinking about all that is good. I think our brains are wired to focus on the bad rather than the good. For example, I had a performance review once where my manager gave me glowing feedback and praise. She happened to mention one thing someone told her about me having favorites on my team, and I walked away from that meeting not glowing from all the positive things she shared, but stewing about the one negative comment that wasn’t even from her!

So, what is my point? I guess that within each of us we have dark, sad, lonely depths that we can sink to regularly. Some of us need help rising up to safer levels and some of us do just fine bringing ourselves out of it. I get it. How we handle things depends on so many outside influences, but the power of our mind and spirit to push us deeper into despair or pull us up into lighter thoughts is the key. My hope for you is that when you feel sad and start down that spiral, you hold on to one positive, wonderful thing and do what you need to do to make it stronger and multiply into more wonderful things. Let your tears dry and hug yourself, or hug someone else.

And my apologies for not having shared a recipe with you. It’s supposed to be lunch, after all, right? But I believe during these trying times, talking with a friend is food for the soul. I hope you do, too.

Hurricane Laura

~ lacasanova

Hurricane Laura is set to hit coasts in Louisiana and Texas later tonight, having increased in strength from a tropical storm to a potential catastrophic category 5 emergency. When she was just a tropical storm, I told my husband that she would intensify because she wanted to be noticed, reckoned with, tired of just being termed a “tropical storm.” Of course, I was speaking about myself, and my goal to speak up for myself this year, tired of letting people get away with saying things that I don’t address, letting people treat me like I won’t speak up or take action, and feeling frustrated and disrespected because I didn’t know how to set my boundaries. I was only partly joking, but I also partly hoped that Laura would gain in fury, as a sign that I would be able to learn how to push back when necessary.

Now, Laura is gaining strength, and I’m praying that she will be kind and destruction will be minimized. I want a strong Laura, but I mean me, not the hurricane. There is a storm inside me, churning, gaining strength, but I will not unleash this with no thought and no control. This Laura is thoughtful, but in a way that considers herself and what is best for her.

This Laura is taking action, learning not to care so much about the “right” thing to do and what others will think. This Laura seeks happiness and fulfillment and joy and creation and love. This Laura will relinquish judgment and drama and grudges. And this Laura will let her anger come out in a way that is appropriate and doesn’t diminish her or others, in a way that clearly states “This is unacceptable to me and I won’t allow it.”

This Laura is probably a category 3 hurricane right now, building from a tropical storm-level earlier in the year and a light rain storm last year. My inner storm isn’t building as quickly as Hurricane Laura, but it will remain inside me and strengthen me. It will appear like a beautiful summer storm with brilliant lightning, the occasional grumble of thunder, and a gentle rain to calm and clean and cool. And I will allow it to pass and know that it was necessary and natural, but never harmful.

The COVID beat goes on

~ lacasanova

Each day, I wake up, shower, style my hair, brush my teeth, and put on fresh clothing. I turn on my computer, review emails, and determine which project I’ll tackle first. This happens every weekday. The weekends are similar, except the projects are usually home chores that may or may not get done. Since March, when COVID made itself known enough for us to take cover, this has been my routine. I try not to think about when this might end, how it affects my thoughts and feelings, and what it’s doing to everyone I love, but sometimes it becomes very obvious how much stress this is causing, even for me who doesn’t have much to worry about.

I recently watched a video of a young woman somewhere in France, standing in front of a shop with her arms held open, a blindfold, and a sign that says “Free Hugs.” The video showed all the different people who hugged her. And they were all good hugs, great even. The people held her close as she hugged them back, then stepped away to continue on down the street. They ranged from young men and women to older people and children, and I teared up when I watched because I realized how much I miss having the freedom to just hug someone I may have just met or see occasionally or haven’t seen in a long while. The feeling of connection with someone else once you wrap your arms around them and squeeze a little can’t be minimized.

As humans, we all crave connection with others. I am someone who doesn’t enjoy crowds or lots of socializing, but even I’ve reached the point where the lack of daily interaction with people other than my husband has affected me. Even though I may try to think otherwise.

So, I talk with my coworkers on the phone, getting to know them somewhat while plowing through the never-ending urgent projects that come my way. I haven’t met any of them in person, so they’re all voices to me, and sometimes photos if they include those in their email. My team doesn’t do video, which is both a blessing and a hindrance. I rely heavily on facial expressions and body language, and now I find myself relying on vocal intonation and inflexion, and on often poorly worded emails. So, yes, I’m struggling a bit with it all.

Here are my high points in all this:

Schwan’s delivery: Lots to choose from, with many time-saving and delicious options delivered right to my door. My favorites:

  • Sausage, egg, and cheese English-muffin sandwiches
  • Blueberry scone dough
  • Hot-and-spicy breaded chicken breast fillets

I am also a big fan of the budget-friendly Matua Sauvignon Blanc. Light and citrusy and it goes well with these hot summer days of COVID isolation.

And then there’s eSalon for making sure my gray hairs remain undercover. A bargain at $22, but it takes some effort on my part. I’m fine with that, but I miss my stylist.

So, no lunch with you yet, my friend, but let me recommend the Schwan’s spicy breasts. So easy to heat up and throw on a bun with some mayo and pickles. And there’s always my very favorite lunch: a turkey sandwich.

Alive but only somewhat living

~ lacasanova

So, it’s been awhile. A lot has happened. A few jobs come and gone, and the bitter memories and trauma remain in addition to the lessons learned. And now another lesson in progress: working for a narcissistic female really sucks. I don’t recommend it, and this should mean I’ve paid my dues and will find a fantastic role and manager soon, right? I mean, I will. I’m working on it.

And another thing. This COVID stuff sucks. If people were already mentally messed up before, this virus and the various reactions to it are enough to challenge the best of us. I have to stay updated on information, but I don’t need the constant sharing (forcing) of opinions on what each person should do to stay safe. That’s not how I work. When people tell me to do things their way or a certain way, unless I see why I should, I can’t listen anymore to what you say. I’m being smart; after all, I wasn’t out and about all the time pre-COVID (thank God for the internet, online shopping, and e-books), so I haven’t changed other than the occasional times I used to socialize have been severely cut back.

I want to see my family, but if I see them, what if they get sick because I didn’t know I was sick and gave it to them? So I see them, but then worry for the next week or so to see if anyone falls ill. So many limitations, restrictions, and conflicting information. My mind is on overdrive with all the research I want to do and all the worry and the corresponding positive self-talk.

So, what can I tell you that may entertain you? Have you thought about the life of insects? I’m following a bug identification group on Facebook, and I’ve learned a lot about spiders, caterpillars, flies, ticks, bed bugs, and roaches. You’d be surprised by the people who know so much about which are good, which are venomous, and which are rare. I also learned about worms in chickens and how you should treat this problem. Let’s just say that you have to treat the entire flock, clean the eggs in bleach water, and hope you never have to see the picture I saw posted today. But…it’s much better than seeing posts with political rants or hate speech or videos of rioting and violence.

So, for recommendations today, let me say that I LOVE Prose products for my hair and will probably never change. I’ve recently started coloring my hair with home coloring kits from e-Salon, and when I do try to make myself presentable (for a video call), I love Lira BB cream instead of foundation. A little bit of BB, some blush, cover up, and mascara, and I look alive.

For food today, may I recommend Hello Fresh meal kits? Even though I’m working from home, I spend the former commute time online, and it’s actually even more difficult to plan dinner. I try to choose meals that take 30 minutes or less, but everything I’ve had from them is worth the effort and delicious. They are even starting to branch out into lunch options, and I give that a big thumbs up.

Stay safe, and let’s get together again soon. This blog thing lets us communicate with the appropriate social distancing, eh?

Visit to Wisconsin

~ lacasanova

Well, hey there. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I was in Wisconsin visiting my husband’s family a few weeks ago, and now I’ve been playing catch-up at work, so I’ve let our lunch slide. It doesn’t mean you’re not important to me…honest!

First off, I’m sure you’re wondering what’s for lunch. Well, how about these chicken pesto bowls? They look healthy and flavorful and filling. Since it’s summer, it’s easy to find fresh pesto, green beans, and tomatoes, so this should be good. Are you in? If not, you could always go for a cheeseburger. I won’t judge. But be honest, you’ll probably regret it once you see (and smell) my chicken pesto bowl.

So, let me tell you a little about my trip, one of my current favorites, and a new favorite. First, the trip. It was great to see my in-laws and all my husband’s siblings, their spouses, and families. Lots of food, drink, and laughter. I needed some rest time when we got home. All the siblings and spouses met with their parents one night to discuss what they want when their parents are gone (jokingly referred to as the “conclave”), we celebrated Bobby’s graduation from physician assistant school, we saw one of our former neighbors and the beautiful house he and his wife built, and Joe golfed with his brother John one day while I spent the day with his wife Anna. We put together a fire pit for use later that night, drank wine, and made a Sicilian ring pasta for dinner that was completely gone before we all went to bed.

If you’ve been to the Midwest in the summer, you know it can be pretty humid. At least it wasn’t hot while I was there, so the humidity was bearable. My Colorado dry skin and hair sucked up the moisture, which is good for my skin, and not so much for my hair. My hair gets crazy in humidity! So, I put my new Living Proof styling products to the test. My 5-in-1 Treatment Cream helped keep the frizz down, as well as an additional precautionary measure of a small amount of conditioner on damp hair on the most humid of days. I am a new raving fan of most all of the Living Proof products I’ve tried. I am now using their Timeless shampoo and conditioner, with the 5-in-1 cream added before styling and drying. Then, it’s the Amp2 texturizer/volumizer to finish off my ‘do. Have you tried any of the Living Proof products? What was your experience? I love how they always have samples available with your orders, and free shipping and free returns. As a matter of fact, I ordered a travel size of the 5-in-1 that I didn’t use, and when I asked about returning it for a credit, they told me to just keep it and share it with a friend, and they refunded my payment. Great customer service!

The other company that I’m impressed with is Clarisonic. I ordered more brush heads for my Mia Fit, and the order wasn’t going through on the website, so I kept trying. As a result, I wound up with four new brush heads! When I called them, they refunded me for all four of them, since there was a website issue. Guess what? I’ll continue buying their products, for sure.

Okay, so one other great thing I discovered was a facial scrub that my sister-in-law introduced me to. Her sister is a dermatologist, and she had a set of face products private labeled from her sister’s practice. The scrub had salicylic acid, and I loved what it did for my skin. I decided to do a little online searching for something that matched it, not wanting to pay for shipping, etc., and I ran across this Replenix Clarifying Brightening Polish. I just got it, and I’ve used it once, so I’m not sure it matches the private label version, but I’ll let you know. This antiaging stuff takes so much time to research, and sometimes money. I’ll definitely share what’s worked for me, so feel free to do the same.

Thanks for lunch! It was great to see you. Let’s plan for another great meal in the next week or so. Taking time to do this with you is so good for me, so thank you.

Welcome, friends

~ lacasanova

Hello. I’m Laura, and just for now, let’s imagine that you and I are sitting down together over an amazing lunch, catching up and sharing stories and recommendations and laughter. You know those lunches, the ones with a friend you haven’t seen in a while, but you pick up right where you left off like no time has passed. You remember why you became friends in the first place, because your soul feels lighter and you leave feeling fulfilled and sated.

And since we’re friends, you should know a few things about me. I love to try new things, and I do a lot of research to see what products, services, tips, and shortcuts others recommend. I like to share any information I find with my friends in case they find it helpful. And since I also like to write, I thought I’d combine these interests and create a blog. Yes, many others are doing the same thing, but I will lure you with a delicious lunch, or at least an e-lunch. I’ll let you know what we’ll be eating as I tell you about a product I’ve tried or an observation I’ve made or some gossip I’ve learned. Are you in? I hope you’ll have lunch with me this week. I’m looking for the best offering for our meal. Any cravings? I’m a fan of gooey Mexican food, pizza, Mediterranean, sandwiches, burgers, Indian, Thai. So many. The only food you won’t find here is seafood and fish…sorry! I’m not a fan, which means you, as a good friend, would understand that and we’d find something that appeals to us both. I’m so excited for our lunch! Stay tuned.